By Mountain Mama
Who do you think you are? Whatever it is… you are right. We can choose to be any type of person we want. What I have discovered is that I don’t have to pick any just one. I am constantly changing my role as mother, teacher, sister, publisher, queen, coordinator, lover, and friend. Each role is like a different person it seems. What I figure is that there is no one in your life who can decide who you are or what you do: except you. Through the day we have to make thousands of decisions. With each decision we have to use our own set of moral guides, our own expectations of ourselves and in the end we must make a decision based on our own sense of self.
Recently I was feeling bad about myself. I lost a friend for ridiculous reason concerning business. Then a couple of weeks ago I was at the local watering hole and some stranger came up out of the blue and kissed me on the lips. So not OK. I was in shock so I grabbed my bag and left as quickly as I could. Why did that happen? It certainly could have been way worse. I know in a different situation it could have been tragic. There are far too many stories of women getting hurt in similar situations. But this was my story and for a moment it defined me. I was mad but mostly at myself. Was I putting some signal out into the world saying that was OK? I keep feeling like I should have laid the guy out with one punch like in the movies. Maybe I should have. Should I have asked for help from the bouncer that was there to help me. Maybe I should have. But I fled. Why was I feeling bad about that decision afterwards?
It has taken up way too much of my time considering all of this. The guy was inappropriate, that is on him, but my reaction was on me. My friend decided to unfriend me (in the real world, not Facebook), that’s on her; my reaction, that’s on me. So who do I want to be? One word came to mind in both situations: BADASS!
It was time to embrace my inner badass. So I went looking for help. I found an amazing new friend in Tangia Renee. Here is her blog on how to be a badass. There is no way I could ever express it better. I hope you enjoy!
HOW TO BE A BADASS IN 10 STEPS
One of my favorite quotes of all time is from prominent feminist blogger, Mohadesa Najumi. She said, “The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” I remember reading that and thinking, “yeah, I get that – that’s because she’s a badass, she’s the alpha-female in the room.” Najumi’s words embody everything I aspire to be, and everything I find inspiring in other women.
The badass alpha-woman is inspiring, and at times frightening to others because her strength and beauty comes from within. She knows herself and doesn’t compromise her values. Everything she is, is based on hard learned lessons and not a fake persona created to please others. Badass women live with a passion and courage that intimidates the close-minded and haters of the world. They are powerful, unique, and fearless. I love these women.
I think all women possess the ability to be a badass. Some of us struggle with how to make it happen. Others have yet to access that place inside of them. Being a badass requires us to shuck the norm and do things differently. I am lucky to have known many badass women. This is how they do it:
1. They don’t hate on themselves or others. To be a badass you don’t have to think you’re perfect, not even close. But, a badass has embraced her uniqueness and understands her worth. She knows that she deserves respect, including respect for herself. By respecting herself, she has respect for others. She respects the uniqueness of others and doesn’t play that petty, “I don’t like your purse or your muscles are too buff,” BS.
2. A badass sets boundaries and sticks to them. She will not allow anyone to disrespect her and then go home and cry about it. She addresses it right then and there, and then moves on.
3. She takes care of herself. Martyrdom doesn’t look good on anyone, and a badass knows that giving every part of herself away is not helping her be a better person. She takes the time to renew herself because she deserves it, and because it makes her a capable woman.
4. They are doers, not wishers. Sitting on your butt wishing for a smaller butt, is not going to get you a smaller butt. Sitting on your butt wishing for more money, is not going to get you more money. Powerful women understand that success is not possible without action.
5. Bold badass women are fearless. It’s not that they don’t have fear, rather they push on in spite of their fear. She understands that growth comes outside of their comfort zone, that she has to go for it, whatever “it” is. She thinks through what she wants and figures out a way to get there, regardless of anyone else agreeing with her vision.
6. She takes pride in herself. She is proud of who she is and shows it. It doesn’t matter if it’s her word, hairstyle, or manicure. She has taken the time to put herself together in a way that makes her proud. She values who she is and it shows not only in her appearance, but her attitude and work ethic.
7. Badass women don’t have time for drama. An alpha-women is not interested in fighting over a date, a parking space, or anything else. An alpha-woman is a woman with a mission in life and her focus is on that mission.
8. She cares about people. Being a badass is hard work, but badass women don’t think that the universe revolves around them. She understands that part of being a badass and having a fulfilling life is having strong, healthy relationships. She deeply cares for and shows her love and appreciation for the people in her life.
9. She does not require validation. A badass woman has a vision, and her vision comes from somewhere deep inside of her. It is uniquely hers, and her responsibility alone. A badass senses that achieving that vision may be a long and lonely road, but she goes after it anyway.
10. She has faith in herself and the courage to chase her dreams in spite of the disbelievers. Her courage, faith, and dedication to moving forward no matter what others have to say about it, is what makes it inspiring to know her.
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We all have a little badass inside us – It’s time to unleash it!
Thank you Tangia for letting me put your words in print. You can contact her at info@hellogorgeousfutnesss.com. Check out her website and get inspired to be your best self. And as always you can contact me at mountainmama.mountainpublishing@gmail.com
