~ It’s the gift of grace ~
by Lori Suzanne Holetz
With February most noted as the month of Love, what better time to consider where forgiveness might have a place in your life. But what does this really mean?
Forgiveness is defined by Merriam-Webster as: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender); to pardon, to consider and treat as not guilty. Oxford Dictionary defines it as to stop feeling angry with someone for something they have done to you and to behave as if it had not happened. This is the definition of unselfish love, the basis for true forgiveness since it keeps no record of wrongdoings. In forgiveness, we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for any hurt or loss we have suffered.
The famous religious quote says, “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” It is true. Most do not know. They do not foresee the consequences of the ripple effect when forgiveness is withheld; the layers and layers of hurt that ensues when something is held against another.
I have pondered this a great deal in my increasing age. But what does it really mean, look and feel like ~ to forgive. It is a rather convoluted thing. And the knee-jerk reaction as the offended is “why should I forgive them?!? They are the ones who have hurt ME!”
Why? Because that moment, in which we extend genuine forgiveness, is the very moment that is most important in releasing it all. We instantly release all the karma loaded into that situation and circumstance. It is akin to living day to day with a literal 50 pound ball and chain attached to our body and dragging it around, taking precious vital life force energy from us at every moment, every turn and it can quickly become exhausting, let alone detrimental to our health and wellbeing. Time to let that shit go! Doesn’t matter what it is about, what happened, how it made you feel… it feels so much better to let it go and walk on lighter with that spring back in your step, free. You have set yourself free!
The Hawaiians have a beautiful ritual for forgiveness. It is called “ho’oponopono” (pronounced ho o pono pono). Roughly translated it means to “make things right” or “make things move back into balance”. The practice means to teach the importance of love and forgiveness through a process that allows the individuals to rid themselves of burdens and grievances in order to heal, thus healing karma. It is a ritual of reconciliation that involves expressing remorse, aiming to bring about understanding and the connection with oneself and with others.
The Ho’oponopono practice comes in four distinct steps: 1) to say you are sorry and admit responsibility. 2) Saying “please forgive me”. 3) Saying “thank you” repeatedly if necessary. And 4) Saying “I love you”. This practice aims to heal karma quickly and easily.
Understand, karma comes in predestined contracts… So what does this mean?? It means that we all have the prerogative to tear up those contracts. Literally, close your eyes and imagine a paper contract in your hands, and tear it up, burn it, flush it… doesn’t matter. It only matters that you end the contract. And here is the crucial part, one must be very clear about what exactly you want to end. It does not mean that you have to end the relationship, only the occurrence and any “lessons” held therein. Rather like taking a detour but reaching the same destination. It is important that we look to glean what lessons the occurrence offers (especially before we end the particular karmic contract.
It really is easy and with a bit of sincere thought and a spoonful of love, all can be conquered.
When we let ourselves off the hook, so to speak, practice self-forgiveness, then everyone else gets off the hook as well. We as humans are not designed to be perfect; we were designed to continuously learn from all things, at all times. What we learn or glean from a particular situation or circumstance in the interest of our own personal evolution and enlightenment, is up to us as well.
Give the gift of forgiveness and feel lighter for it. Give the gift without condition or expectation; give forgiveness because it is the right thing to do…. for everyone. May your life be filled with love and the ease of a light heart. Happy month of Love. 💜
